A 10 percent approval rating is about the same approval rating that rabies has (The rest is in your head)

"Mitt Romney said he wants to cut funding for things like Amtrak and PBS, both of which are subsidized by the government. I don't like the idea of cutting funds for PBS. Things are bad enough already. One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can." –Jimmy Kimmel

"A new Gallup poll shows that only 1 in 10 Americans approve of the job Congress is doing. A 10 percent approval rating is about the same approval rating that rabies has." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the other 18 percent weren't home when the question was asked (exactly what you need to know)

"Levi Johnston is planning to run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. He really is trying as hard as he can to get shot by Sarah Palin, isn't he?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"A new poll shows that disapproval of Congress is at an all-time high. Eighty-two percent of Americans disapprove of the job Congress is doing and the other 18 percent weren't home when the question was asked." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Mitt Romney said he wants to cut funding for things like Amtrak and PBS, both of which are subsidized by the government. I don't like the idea of cutting funds for PBS. Things are bad enough already. One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What do you say everybody, should we try it again? (your big brag is that you share a skill with a muppet)

January 2003

“The GOP chaos in the House of Representatives was pretty fun to watch. Kevin McCarthy and the GOP were full of bravado about how they would seize the gavel as a show of Republican power and confront Joe Biden and the Democrats. Instead, we got this split screen: feuding Republicans in utter chaos on the House floor while Joe Biden was eating peach cobbler at a barbecue joint in Cincinnati. While Biden’s chowing down on cobbler, Republicans are melting down before our eyes and proving to our nation they just can’t be trusted to govern. McCarthy ultimately lost 11 straight votes as of Thursday evening. And the crazy thing is, because nothing else can happen until a speaker is elected, McCarthy just has to sit there losing votes over and over. It’s like getting all the way up to the altar and then your fiance says ‘I don’t’, and instead of going home the priest says ‘what do you say everybody, should we try it again?’” —Seth Meyers

“After four days of drama, a far-right inter-Republican rebellion and 15 votes, Kevin McCarthy was finally elected speaker of the House at 12.29am on Saturday morning. Generally speaking, that is not the sign of a healthy democracy. Nothing good happens after midnight on a Friday. If you’re that old and you’re up after midnight, you’re probably drunk and buying something real dumb off QVC.” —Seth Meyers

“Oh? Can you? Because the only person in that chamber that I trust to count is this lady, the House clerk, Cheryl Johnson, who presided over all 15 votes. It’s not exactly confidence-inspiring when you’re trying to become second in line to the presidency and your big brag is that you share a skill with a muppet.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And a lot of people don't realize, the "J" stands for Jamal (Make Jobs, Not War)

One of the things I've been enjoying most about the convention, almost everyone refers to him as Donald J. Trump, like there's another one running around. But I've thoroughly enjoyed everyone saying it. The "J" is a big thing. And a lot of people don't realize, the "J" stands for Jamal. –Jimmy Kimmel

"Donald Trump told CNN he may consider getting back into the presidential race. He said he has to mull it over, comb it over, and he'll go from there." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Mitt Romney said he wants to cut funding for things like Amtrak and PBS, both of which are subsidized by the government. I don't like the idea of cutting funds for PBS. Things are bad enough already. One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's definitely against whatever the hell Bert and Ernie are up to (I'm already against the next war)

October 2012

"Mitt Romney said he's going to get rid of Big Bird and slash PBS. And then he mentions Donald Trump, who endorses Mitt Romney. It's interesting -- one is a comical TV character with synthetic yellow hair, and then you have Big Bird." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney did so well last night, hell he may even release his tax returns. He did so well last night, he might even let poor people vote." –David Letterman

"At one point last night President said the one thing about being president is learning to say no -- especially when someone asks, 'Do you feel ready for this debate?'" –Conan O'Brien

"During last night's debate, Mitt Romney said he'd cut funds to PBS, even though he loves Big Bird. He's definitely against whatever the hell Bert and Ernie are up to." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He hasn't done this poorly since he debated Clint Eastwood (I demand euphoria!)

October 2012

"It's like Obama wasn't even there at the debates. He hasn't done this poorly since he debated Clint Eastwood." –Stephen Colbert

"Now you know me. I’m a staunch conservative and I condemn any Republican who distances themselves from everything he has said on the campaign trail. But it worked, so f*ck it.'" –Stephen Colbert, on Mitt Romney lying at the presidential debate

"He just told the moderator -- who works at PBS -- I'm going to throw your ass out on the street old man! Not only you, but all those free-loading Muppets! That doesn't just take one ball, it takes TWO! TWO ENORMOUS BALLS! Ha-ha-ha!" –Stephen Colbert, impersonating Sesame Street's The Count, referring to Romney's attack on the popular children's show

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's a great plan until everyone looks up and sees the blimps (One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can)

August 2012

"The White House just revealed that it brews its own beer and President Obama drinks it when out campaigning. And even more of it when Joe Biden goes out campaigning." –Jimmy Fallon

"The U.S. military is sending surveillance blimps to monitor the U.S. border with Mexico. It's a great plan until everyone looks up and sees the blimps." –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney said he wants to cut funding for things like Amtrak and PBS, both of which are subsidized by the government. I don't like the idea of cutting funds for PBS. Things are bad enough already. One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can." –Jimmy Kimmel

"A new Gallup poll shows that only 1 in 10 Americans approve of the job Congress is doing. A 10 percent approval rating is about the same approval rating that rabies has." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Finally something that connects Romney with the average American voter (swing around pole)

July 2012

"Mitt Romney is now in London to see his horse compete in the dressage event. Dressage is kind of like horse ballet. Finally something that connects Romney with the average American voter." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney said while he is in Europe, he won't be apologizing to anybody. He has nothing to apologize for. A lot of those people overseas now have good jobs because of him. They are very very grateful." –Jay Leno

"The Jim Henson company, which created the Muppets, have cut their ties with Chick-Fil-A because of the company's anti-gay marriage stance. Insiders say the move came after intense pressure from Bert and Ernie." –Jay Leno

"To prepare for the Republican Convention, a strip club in Tampa, Florida has hired a Sarah Palin look-a-like to perform. This stripper is so much like Sarah Palin, she actually has written on her hand, 'take off top, shake breasts, swing around pole." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Tagg, you're it!

"During Wednesday's debate Mitt Romney said that even though he likes Big Bird, if elected he would stop the subsidy to PBS – it's a surprising threat considering that 'Mitt' is such an excellent Muppet name." –Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"





"Mitt Romney is refusing to participate in the long-running special on Nickelodeon called 'Kids Pick the President.' Romney said it's nothing personal; he just says that these kids are part of that 47 percent who contribute nothing to the country and mooch off their parents and grandparents." –Jay Leno 

"People close to the campaign are saying that Mitt Romney's son, Tagg, is now one of his chief advisers. That's right, when Mitt asked him to join the team, he put his arm on his son's shoulder and said 'Tagg, you're it!'" –Jimmy Fallon 

In fact, it's even a crappy tip

"In a new interview with Fortune magazine, Mitt Romney says he wants to cut funding for PBS. When he heard that, Oscar the Grouch was like, 'Seriously? I already live in a garbage can — how much worse can my life get?'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Mitt Romney said he will not release any more tax returns. He said that he guarantees that he paid at least 13 percent every year. 13 percent? That's not a tax, that's a tip. In fact, it's even a crappy tip." –Jay Leno



"Paul Ryan looks like a guy who owns his own chain of nursing homes." –David Letterman 

John Hulse painting

One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can

"Donald Trump says he has a big surprise in store for everybody at the Republican National Convention this year - a surprise he says people will love. So apparently he's not going." –Jay Leno 

"Mitt Romney said he wants to cut funding for things like Amtrak and PBS, both of which are subsidized by the government. I don't like the idea of cutting funds for PBS. Things are bad enough already. One of the Muppets is living in a garbage can." –Jimmy Kimmel



"A new Gallup poll shows that only 1 in 10 Americans approve of the job Congress is doing. A 10 percent approval rating is about the same approval rating that rabies has." –Jimmy Kimmel

John Hulse painting

Finally something that connects Romney with the average American voter

"Mitt Romney is now in London to see his horse compete in the dressage event. Dressage is kind of like horse ballet. Finally something that connects Romney with the average American voter." –Jay Leno



"Mitt Romney said while he is in Europe, he won't be apologizing to anybody. He has nothing to apologize for. A lot of those people overseas now have good jobs because of him. They are very very grateful." –Jay Leno



"The Jim Henson company, which created the Muppets, have cut their ties with Chick-Fil-A because of the company's anti-gay marriage stance. Insiders say the move came after intense pressure from Bert and Ernie." –Jay Leno



John Hulse painting