Note to self, spend summer vacation at the Bowman Gray School of Medicine (It's toasted)

In North Carolina the Bowman Gray School of Medicine is looking for 20 habitual marijuana smokers who they'll provide with free pot in order to study the effects of the drug. Note to self, spend summer vacation at the Bowman Gray School of Medicine. --Norm Macdonald

This week President Clinton played golf with ex-presidents Gerald Ford and George Bush. Bush hit an old lady in the face with a golf ball giving her a broken nose and 10 stitches. But don't be impressed. It took him five strokes to do it. --Norm Macdonald

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Usually when I pay a person to like me, it's my wife (Rolled it himself)

At his campaign launch, Donald Trump apparently paid extras $50 to cheer for him at the rally. Trump said, "Usually when I pay a person to like me, it's my wife." –Conan O’Brien

Yesterday on Father’s Day my kids gave me breakfast in bed, which I thought was sweet. My nine-year-old makes a mean mojito. Brought me a cigarette too. Rolled it himself. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

just ahead of a gun wearing a cowboy hat (a real snausage fest)

"A new CBS News poll shows Chris Christie is ranked ninth out of all Republican presidential candidates. He's just behind Bobby Jindal and just ahead of a gun wearing a cowboy hat." –Seth Meyers

Today was International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. There’s a party later tonight, but I heard it’s going to be a real snausage fest. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Can you believe the balls on that guy's neck? (Best Cigarette of Your Life day)

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell published an op-ed for Fox News this week, calling for bipartisanship in Congress. So the same guy who stole a Supreme Court seat from Merrick Garland wants bipartisanship. Can you believe the balls on that guy's neck? --Seth Meyers

"The design for George W. Bush's presidential library was unveiled Wednesday in Dallas, and features a lantern-shaped roof that will glow at night. Mr. President, I don't want to make any more jokes about you being dumb, but you have to meet me halfway. Don't build a library where the lights are on when no one is home." –Seth Meyers

Today is the Great American Smokeout day, which encourages smokers to try and go 24 hours without having a cigarette. Which means tomorrow is the Best Cigarette of Your Life day. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which means tomorrow is the Best Cigarette of Your Life” day (that place that serves unlimited breadsticks)

Bernie Sanders this weekend argued against the major political fundraising families, saying, “That is not called democracy, that is called oligarchy.” Bernie, you gotta dumb it down a little. Most Americans think “oligarchy” is that place that serves unlimited breadsticks. –Seth Meyers

Today is the Great American Smokeout day, which encourages smokers to try and go 24 hours without having a cigarette. Which means tomorrow is the Best Cigarette of Your Life” day. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump really doesn’t want us to know what’s in his wallet (Man has massive hog)

A headline from Fox News read “Hawaii lawmaker proposes banning the sale of cigarettes to anyone under 100 years old.” The honest headline should have read “Yo mama so old she can buy cigarettes in Hawaii.” --James Corden

President Trump is filing a lawsuit against Capital One Bank. Apparently, Trump really doesn’t want us to know what’s in his wallet. --James Corden

A headline from the Huffington Post read “Distracted driver turns out to have 250-pound pig on lap.” The honest headline should have read “Man has massive hog.” --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So, if you're dreaming of a really white Christmas, have I got the gift for you (Wow! This guy's a legend.)

November 2022

“Meanwhile, today, Mike Pence released his new memoir, ‘So Help Me God.’ So, if you're dreaming of a really white Christmas, have I got the gift for you.” —Jimmy Fallon

“That's right -- the Grammys will be at the Crypto.com Arena. Honestly, the Crypto.com Arena makes sense, because most of the nominees will walk away with nothing.” —Jimmy Fallon

“A man in China ran a full marathon in a pretty unique way. If the thought of running a marathon has you winded, imagine doing it while smoking a pack of cigarettes. He completed all 26.2 miles in 3 hours and 28 minutes. Wow! This guy's a legend. He's already on the front of the box of Wheezies.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump forced Mike Pence to watch the Elton John movie (NRA Logic)

“The whistle-blower went on to say that the official was visibly shaken by what had transpired. That must have been some phone call. Apparently, no one has seen a White House staffer that shaken up since Trump forced Mike Pence to watch the Elton John movie.” --Jimmy Fallon

“He says the whistle-blower owes him an apology. He said the whistle-blower’s lawyer is a big Democrat. Which, you know who else was a big Democrat? Donald Trump, like 12 years ago.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Not only is Trump lashing out, he’s now demanding an apology from everyone involved in the impeachment. Then women, minorities, the disabled, Mexico and Puerto Rico were like, ‘You first.’” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living (Magic Mike Pence!)

A headline from Fox News read “Hawaii lawmaker proposes banning the sale of cigarettes to anyone under 100 years old.” The honest headline should have read “Yo mama so old she can buy cigarettes in Hawaii.” --James Corden

President Trump is filing a lawsuit against Capital One Bank. Apparently, Trump really doesn’t want us to know what’s in his wallet. --James Corden

Trump was going crazy on Twitter because a big firefighters union decided to endorse Joe Biden instead of him. He's really upset with this union. He sent a tweet that said, "I've done more for firefighters than this dues-sucking union will ever do." Then he added, "I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living." --Jimmy Fallon

Speaking of strip clubs, listen to this. Yesterday, Mike Pence gave a speech to some Navy sailors. And before Pence walked out, the sailors were told that they had to clap like they were at a strip club. Even weirder, Pence was introduced like this. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Magic Mike Pence! --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

2020: Why Not You? (Mike Pence Is An Idiot)

A woman in England was searching a farm with a metal detector when she found what she thought was a foil-wrapped chocolate coin only to find out later that it is a 1500 year old solid gold pendant worth a fortune. Yeah, unbelievable. To get that close to chocolate only to be disappointed. It’s a real bummer. She probably should have known it wasn’t a chocolate coin when she found it using a metal detector. --James Corden

So many democrats are running for president in 2020. It’s like the democratic party has been passing out a mirror that says, “2020: Why Not You?” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

you know what the number one cause of death is in China now? (Disobeying a government mandate)

"And government bureaucrats in China have been ordered to smoke more locally produced cigarettes in order to set an example for citizens and stimulate the Chinese cigarette industry. And health officials are worried that smoking could become the number one cause of death now because of this government mandate. But do you know what the number one cause of death is in China now? Disobeying a government mandate. So, you're kind of stuck." --Jay Leno

"And a Georgia man is recovering in Pittsburgh after becoming the first U.S. recipient of a double hand transplant. Got two hands transplanted from another guy. He used them for the first time today to grab his heart when he saw the bill." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Now imagine trying to understand that while you're high (It's confusing, right?)

Marijuana is legal here in California by state law. But it's still technically illegal, according to federal law. So the LAPD, the police, can't arrest you for having pot but an FBI agent can. It's confusing, right? Now imagine trying to understand that while you're high. –Jimmy Kimmel

In other smoking-related news, the mayor of New York yesterday proposed a new bill that would raise the price of cigarettes to what would be the highest in the country. If the bill passes, a pack of cigarettes would cost $13 in New York. The only place where cigarettes would cost more is prison. –Jimmy Kimmel

Mayor Bill de Blasio says that when it comes to the health of New Yorkers, big tobacco is enemy No. 1. Enemy No. 2 is pizza. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats