I might move to Nambia. I hear very good things (don’t forget, the cops were spraying for two)

We just found where Donald Trump might be getting those theories about the "Deep State," because in a new book about Trump's relationship with Vladimir Putin, Washington Post reporter Greg Miller writes, "A trained intelligence operative, Putin understood the power of playing to someone's insecurities and ego." Yes, to spot Trump's insecurities and ego, it takes years of KGB training — and a television. --Stephen Colbert

The U.N. is in town this week and Donald Trump hosted a lunch for African leaders. "I'm greatly honored to host this lunch, to be joined by the leaders of Côte d'Ivoire, Ethiopia, Ghana, Guinea, Nambia. Nambia's health system is increasingly self-sufficient." Now, there is no such country as "Nambia." Despite that, they will soon have a better healthcare system than we do. I might move to Nambia. I hear very good things. –Stephen Colbert

"Some have criticized the police for pepper spraying a pregnant woman, but don’t forget, the cops were spraying for two." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Predatory Phase of Human Development (Spatial Hybrid Astronaut Redirection Technique)

September 2022

“There has been an escalation of threats from Vladimir Putin after a series of setbacks in his invasion of Ukraine. Putin vowed that Russia will use ‘all means at its disposal’ to continue the occupation of Ukraine, adding: ‘I am not bluffing.’ OK, the problem with Putin is, even if he was bluffing, it would be impossible to tell. The guy is a former KGB agent and he is addicted to Botox. His expression never changes. It doesn’t matter if he’s losing a war or riding a rollercoaster.” —Seth Meyers

“In a rally over the weekend, Donald Trump referenced Putin’s heated rhetoric, referring to ‘nuclear’ as ‘the N-word’. Now, I have to imagine there was some percentage of that crowd, however large or small, that heard that sentence and thought to themselves, ‘Oh my God, it’s finally happening.’” —Seth Meyers

“There is a significant space event: a NASA spacecraft deliberately hit an asteroid head-on at 15,000mph to see whether space rocks can be deflected away from earth. Now, before you start having panic sex with strangers on the sidewalk, I hope it’s not because of this asteroid. It wasn’t the big civilization ender that Ben Affleck will have to save us from. It wasn’t even headed to earth.” —Stephen Colbert

The mission – the Double Asteroid Redirection Test, or Dart – was to test if NASA could push a potentially dangerous asteroid off a collision course with Earth. Not to be confused with the mission to stop a real asteroid that’s going to destroy the planet, the ‘Spatial Hybrid Astronaut Redirection Technique’, or Shart.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She fills out every square in the Donald Trump fear bingo card (it takes years of KGB training — and a television)

We just found where Donald Trump might be getting those theories about the "Deep State," because in a new book about Trump's relationship with Vladimir Putin, Washington Post reporter Greg Miller writes, "A trained intelligence operative, Putin understood the power of playing to someone's insecurities and ego." Yes, to spot Trump's insecurities and ego, it takes years of KGB training — and a television. --Stephen Colbert

Bernie Sanders popularity is surprising because he's a self-described socialist, who would also be our oldest president ever. The man is 74-years-old. That's five years older than Donald Trump and 50 years older than anyone Trump would marry. –Stephen Colbert

Actress Lupita Nyong'o is here! She might be our first Oscar winner. She was born in Mexico and raised in Kenya, so she fills out every square in the Donald Trump fear bingo card. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s almost as if he’s insecure about something (dancing on my grave)

October 2021

“Jonathan Karl’s new Trump tell-all, ‘Betrayal,’ details Trump’s bragging about the size of the crowd that stormed the capitol. Of course, he was. Is there anything this guy won’t brag about? It’s like bragging about the size of your tumor. It’s not good.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Size matters so much to him. It’s almost as if he’s insecure about something.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Someday he’ll be looking up from the bowels of hell, elbowing his buddy, Jeffrey Epstein, saying, ‘Can you even believe how many people are dancing on my grave right now?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Southwest Airlines canceled over 2,000 flights this weekend, stranding thousands of travelers. That is rough – the only thing worse than having your Southwest flight cancelled is actually having to fly Southwest. Booking a cheap flight on Southwest is like eating a Cinnabon. It’s amazing at first, but you quickly realize that you’ve made a huge mistake.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump said he was going into this meeting with low expectations (Yeah, we all were)

On Friday he had tea with the queen — and on Friday, it seemed like a big deal that he walked in front of the queen, which is apparently a no-no, a royal faux pas. You’re not supposed to turn your back on the queen, or pour ketchup in her tea, or take the hat off her head and swat a fly with it. You're not supposed to do any of those things. --Jimmy Kimmel

But that turned out to be nothing compared with what happened in Finland this morning. Helsinki has frozen over. The president of the United States today publicly sided with Russia over our own FBI on the subject of cyberattacks on our election campaign. --Jimmy Kimmel

Trump had a meeting today with his KGB BFF, Vladimir Putin, and in an interview with CBS yesterday he said he was going into this meeting with low expectations. Yeah, we all were. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It’s about time he invited the boss over for dinner (Let's Do It Again)

The president officially declared the month of April to be National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. At this point he's just messing with us, right? He might as well declare it National Bankrupt Casino Awareness Month. --Jimmy Kimmel

Vladimir Putin could soon be coming to America. During their phone call last month — the one where Trump wasn't supposed to congratulate Putin — not only did Trump congratulate him, he invited his KG-BFF to a summit at the White House. It’s about time he invited the boss over for dinner. --Jimmy Kimmel

So, this will be a nice opportunity for Putin to stop by and install a few new Nest cameras in the White House. --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

BLOTUS (“crunch time”)

During his sit-down with the prince, reporters asked Trump about his newly re-elected counterpart Vladimir Putin, who won another fixed election this week. And guess who called his KG-BFF to congratulate him on that? Trump congratulated him even though his national security adviser wrote in capital letters DO NOT CONGRATULATE him. Vladimir Putin just poisoned two people! Trump is calling to say “Hey, congrats.” --Jimmy Kimmel

The Russia-collusia-palooza continues to get bigger every day. The president's legal team is working overtime to help him avoid a lengthy interview with Special Counsel Robert Mueller. According to one of his advisers, Trump's lawyers are in crunch time right now. Which is funny, because “crunch time” is also what they call it when an extra crispy bucket of KFC arrives at the White House. --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

it would just be easier to get their president to put some pants on (GOP Game of Thrones)

Donald Trump Jr. has admitted to holding an undisclosed meeting before the election with a Russian lawyer and a Russian lobbyist who reportedly once worked for the KGB. And the hardest part to believe is there was a Donald Trump dumb enough to do that [shows photo of President Trump] and it wasn’t this one. –Seth Meyers

China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from social media over the weekend, after users compared the character to their president. Though it seems like it would just be easier to just get their president to put some pants on. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

I don’t know who it is. It could be anyone (KGB)

Trump raised the money through donations from companies and wealthy individuals, including $5 million from billionaire Sheldon Adelson, $4 million from someone who just goes by initials — this is interesting: KGB. I don’t know who it is. It could be anyone. –Jimmy Kimmel

$107 million seems like a lot to spend on an inauguration, but when you go through the expenses, it makes sense. Here’s how it breaks down according to the White House: Microphone, $225. Podium, $650. $750,000 for all the limos and the security. Mini Bible to make Trump’s hands look big, $57. The helicopter to get rid of the Obamas, $257,000. $15,000 for Melania’s dress. $2,700 for her gloves. 20 million Slovenian euros for Melania herself. And they paid the piano guys with lunch, just a few dollars there. Trump’s appearance fee, $85 million for him to speak, for a total of $107 million. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

France wants to use sarcasm

"Did you see Vladimir Putin and President Obama shake hands today? They said something to each other. Of course, we don't know what they said, nobody does — except the NSA, the KGB, and Edward Snowden." –Jay Leno 



"Happy Rosh Hashanah. In honor of the Jewish new year, Mayor Bloomberg has banned the 16-ounce brisket." –David Letterman 

"All eyes are on Obama because of Syria. He wants to use military strikes. Even his allies don't agree with him. Britain wants to use economic embargoes. France wants to use sarcasm." –Craig  Ferguson