March 2022
“The European Union won’t be able to join a US boycott of Russian energy imports. While America is able to go cold turkey on Russian oil, Europe is hooked. The EU gets 40% of its gas and a quarter of its oil from Russia, which is why they couldn’t join this boycott even if they wanted to. The arrangement gives Russia leverage, and Vladimir Putin is using it by threatening to cut off Europe’s gas supply. You see, you can’t go too hard after the country that makes it possible for you to survive winter. That’s why Europe always has to pepper its’ denunciations of Russia with like the occasional compliment – ‘this war in Ukraine is as inexcusable as Tchaikovsky’s music is unforgettable, huh?’” —Trevor Noah
“But it’s a two-way street. Sure, Europe needs Russian oil, but Russia needs Europe’s money. I mean, what else do they have to offer? It’s not like they’re going to fund a war by selling cabbage soup.” —Trevor Noah
“Gas prices are so shocking that I drove by a station that had ‘viewer discretion advised’ on the sign. But while some Republicans have blamed the prices on Biden, but oil company profits, have surged to $174 Billion in 2021. Maybe they could use some of that money to lower gas prices instead of stock buybacks or shooting glossy commercials full of healthy-looking sea turtles.” —Seth Meyers
“Let’s take stock of Russia’s financial future after the credit rating agency Fitch downgraded Russian securities to a C rating. The change reflected their view that ‘a sovereign default is imminent’. Russia is about to lose everything and crash with a buddy, I guess. Belarus better have a big couch, because without a credit rating, the only way they can pay their debt is by having a garage sale at Lenin’s tomb. Every pickled corpse must go.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
