President Bush had to ask, "Which one of us are you talking to?"

"President Bush met with the president of China at the White House. The arrival ceremony was interrupted by a protester who started yelling, 'Stop the persecution, stop the torture!' President Bush had to ask, 'Which one of us are you talking to?'" --Jay Leno

"Press secretary Scott McClellan resigned. I tell you, people in the White House are dropping faster than old guys hunting with Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"It is kind of ironic, Iraq is having trouble forming a government, and President Bush is having problems keeping the government he formed." --Jay Leno

"President Bush and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger are meeting here in California tomorrow. Their goal: To butcher the English language in a way that can never be  duplicated" --Jay Leno