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Showing posts with label yogurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yogurt. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

The opposite of what America does (DEMENTED THEFT OF MY HEALTHY DESSERT ALTERNATIVES)



Seems like an all-caps note is not necessarily the way to deal with a hostile foreign leader. It's barely the way to deal with a coworker who keeps stealing your yogurt from the fridge. "To the person who keeps stealing my yogurt: 

NEVER, EVER TOUCH MY YOPLAIT WHIPS AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT THE BREAK ROOM HAVE SUFFERED BEFORE. I AM NO LONGER A PAYROLL ASSISTANT WHO WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED THEFT OF MY HEALTHY DESSERT ALTERNATIVES. BE CAUTIOUS!” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”