Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act (Why didn't I think of that?)

"George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, 'As I like to tell the 'C' students, you too can be president.' Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act." –Jimmy Fallon

"A new poll found that almost 70 percent of voters say that whoever our next president is, they must have political experience. You know, because it would be rude to say 'anyone but Donald Trump.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Former New York Governor George Pataki may enter the race for president. It's not definite, but he tweeted that he'll announce his 2016 plans on May 28 in New Hampshire. Well, what's he gonna do, go to New Hampshire to say he's NOT running? That's like getting down on one knee and saying, 'I think it's time to see other people.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which is also the advice Chris Christie gets from his doctor

One of the candidates at the early GOP debate, George Pataki, said his routine before every debate is to drink a diet lemon Snapple iced tea and pray. Which is also the advice Chris Christie gets from his doctor. –Jimmy Fallon

A clothing company is making T-shirts inspired by Bernie Sanders with messages like “Feel the Bern.” They were gonna make them for Lincoln Chafee too, but no one wants to wear a shirt that says “Feel the Chafee.” –Jimmy Fallon

At a recent education summit, President Obama admitted that he can’t rap. When they heard, Americans said, “Good!” –Jimmy Fallon

Mexican prisons that have personal showers with $5 million escape tunnels

Republican candidate George Pataki said his dogs would give him the best endorsement for becoming our next president. Until they hear Chris Christie always carries bacon in his pockets. (Joke's on them, though, he’s never going to give them any of that pocket bacon. It’s what gets him through long meetings!) –Jimmy Fallon

Republican candidate Ben Carson told reporters he thinks American prisons might be too comfortable. As opposed to Mexican prisons that have personal showers with $5 million escape tunnels. –Jimmy Fallon

The old geezer who remembers what steak tasted like

"Former New York Governor George Pataki may enter the race for president. It's not definite, but he tweeted that he'll announce his 2016 plans on May 28 in New Hampshire. Well, what's he gonna do, go to New Hampshire to say he's NOT running? That's like getting down on one knee and saying, 'I think it's time to see other people.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"The new 'Mad Max' movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. I have a small part in 'Mad Max.' I play the old geezer who remembers what steak tasted like." –David Letterman