You lose 100% of the elections Democrats or Republicans win (a distinguished gentleman with a flagging erection)

A woman I met at a party was from Norway and she kept telling me how awful Donald Trump was. So I shot back, “Yeah, well you guys have that asshole Hans Christian Andersen.” --Norm Macdonald

My doctor is getting very rude. The last time I went to him he said open your mouth and say, “Oink.” --Norm Macdonald

Some people call me old softy, but I would prefer it if you called  me a distinguished gentleman with a flagging erection. --Norm Macdonald

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”