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Tuesday, August 2, 2022

It’s the hottest rebound since JLo tested positive for a second case of Affleck (political jokey make-em-ups)


August 2022

“Joe Biden has tested positive for Covid for the second time days after testing negative, a rebound case after taking the anti-viral drug Paxlovid. Wow, getting Covid twice in a row because you took Paxlovid? Who could’ve seen this coming? Me, that’s who. (Colbert had two bouts of Covid in May after taking Paxlovid.) It’s happened to a lot of folks. I don’t know anyone who’s taken Paxlovid who didn’t get it again. It’s the hottest rebound since JLo tested positive for a second case of Affleck.” —Stephen Colbert

“Experts say the rebound infections are caused by ‘insufficient drug exposure’ – as in, not enough of the drug gets into infected cells to stop all viral replication. So the Covid pops right back up, which is why the White House is trying to give Paxlovid to Biden’s poll numbers.” —Stephen Colbert

“I’ve been making the political jokey make-em-ups for over 20 years now, and I have never seen anything so baldly cynical and pointlessly malicious as this. And if there are children in the room, tell them to age quickly and please vote. The Pact Act, which would expand healthcare coverage to military veterans exposed to toxic chemicals or burn pits during their service was up for a vote. That’s something we can agree on – if we’re going to go to war, we have to take care of the warriors. Both the House and the Senate initially passed the bill, but due to an administrative issue, the Senate had to revote. Twenty-five Republican senators flipped their votes, blocking the Pact Act’s passage. Why would Republicans screw over veterans on a bill that they previously voted for? Well, one theory is that they had their boxers in a bunch after Joe Manchin and Chuck Schumer secretly negotiated a big climate deal. Jon Tester, Democratic senator from Montana, attributed the vote to ‘political payback’ from people who had ‘lost their minds’. Well, that would be some misdirected anger, GOP. That’s like a quarterback saying, ‘OK, huddle up, we’re down 20, I just threw an interception and the other team scored. Here’s the play: I’m going to go sucker-punch that old guy at the hot dog stand.’ Can you believe Ted Cruz, who fist-bumped fellow GOP senator Steve Daines after blocking the bill for veterans’ healthcare he had previously voted for. I imagine there’s some veterans out there who would also like to bump Ted Cruz with their fists.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

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