Yeah, apparently he misunderstood the phrase, 'Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.' (Let’s do this...)

Last night after his victories, Donald Trump held a press conference in Florida and he proudly displayed Trump water bottles, Trump wine, and Trump steaks. Trump also announced his running mate, the ShamWow guy. –Conan O’Brien

“It was reported that in the weeks leading up to his death, Osama bin Laden had trouble controlling the squabbling among his three wives. In fact, when the team knocked down the door, bin Laden said, ‘Thank god you’re here. Two in the chest. One in the head. Let’s do this.’” –Conan O’Brien

White House Adviser Kellyanne Conway suggested that President Obama could have spied on Donald Trump through a microwave oven. Which is why today the Trump administration brought in six Hot Pockets for questioning. –Conan O’Brien

"In a new interview, Newt Gingrich says he cheated on two of his wives because he was too consumed with love for his country. Yeah, apparently he misunderstood the phrase, 'Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”