Closing the subway because of the germs is like closing Broadway because of jazz hands (you get to make one rule)

January 2022

“The Omicron surge wreaked havoc on holiday travel – airlines cancelled more than 12,000 flights between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day, and New York City suspended several subway lines due to staffing issues. What? Closing the subway because of the germs is like closing Broadway because of jazz hands.” —Stephen Colbert

“Partly in response to widespread staffing shortages, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) last week cut the isolation time for Americans who test positive from 10 days to five. Some have raised suspicions about the timing of the policy change, as just days before the announcement, the CEO of Delta Air Lines asked the CDC for a five-day isolation guidance. Well, that’s just longstanding policy: if your business is named after a variant, you get to make one rule.” —Stephen Colbert

“They also said you can swim right after you eat, breaking a mirror only gives you four years bad luck, and stepping on a crack won’t break your mother’s back; her back will just be very disappointed.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”