“Now while most people are waiting for a vaccine, there are some people who think we might not even need one. People like Eric Trump, fetus in its 100th trimester and the president’s fourth favorite son. You see, according to Baby Voldemort, coronavirus is actually a hoax that’ll go away on its own and the only reason the media is even talking about it is to steal the White House from his dad.” —Trevor Noah
“This weekend during an interview with Jeanine Pirro, Eric Trump accused Democrats of milking coronavirus lockdowns to win the November election. Jeanine Pirro was like, ‘Yeah, I totally agree with you, it’s definitely a hoax. Which is why we’re doing this interview from the basement of our homes.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“Now according to Eric, this whole coronavirus thing is a conspiracy to prevent his dad from doing big campaign rallies. I’m sorry, man, this makes no sense. Donald Trump is the president. So if he thinks coronavirus is all just a bunch of hype and he should be able to do a rally, then my man, go and do a rally. I swear, Trump is the most powerful least powerful person in the world. [As Trump] ‘I want to do a rally but I can’t, because the doctors will get mad at me.’” —Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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