when the Republicans said, 'drill everywhere,' I had no idea (Losing Ohio)

"The New York Times had a big article on problems that elderly people face. And they say, one of the worst things that can happen to an old person [is] breaking a hip. Breaking a hip, yeah. Second worst thing that can happen? Losing Ohio." --Jay Leno

"Well, here's a great scandal. Federal investigators say that members of the Bush administration who were in charge of overseeing billions of dollars in oil royalties received gifts and had illicit sex with oil company employees. They actually had sex with the oil company employees. You know, when the Republicans said, 'drill everywhere,' I had no idea." --Jay Leno



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