Today at the
Vatican, Arnold Schwarzenegger met Pope Francis and tweeted that he is “a true
leader for the Church.” Then Pope Francis tweeted, “I couldn’t understand a
word that guy said.” –Conan O’Brien
Today, President
Trump signed an executive order authorizing the building of the border wall.
It’s guaranteed to keep out all Mexicans unless they get their hands on a
ladder or a shovel. –Conan O’Brien
Yesterday, Donald
Trump threatened to send federal troops to Chicago. The weird part is, not the
city, the band Chicago. –Conan O’Brien
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