It’s safe to assume the game has plenty of cheat codes

"Arizona has elected the first openly bisexual congresswoman. Apparently she did very well with swing voters." –Conan O'Brien


"The new 'Call of Duty: Black Ops' video game was released today, and it actually features General David Petraeus. So I guess it’s safe to assume the game has plenty of cheat codes." –Jimmy Fallon 

"A woman is so angry with the election results that reportedly she got in her car and ran over her husband. She's so mad that Romney didn't win, she runs over her husband. It was Karl Rove's wife." –David Letterman