If you don't believe me, just ask my chauffeur

"Rick Santorum 'slipped the knockout punch!' 'Knockout punch,' by the way, is what Rush Limbaugh slips his dates." –Stephen Colbert on the Super Tuesday results



“Mitt Romney's wife said she doesn't even consider herself wealthy. Then she said, ‘If you don't believe me, just ask my chauffeur.’” –Craig Ferguson