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Showing posts with label E Jean Carroll. Show all posts
Showing posts with label E Jean Carroll. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Is that coffee I smell? (p*rn star spanky)


On Tuesday, Donald Trump posted a $175 million bond so he could appeal his $454 million fraud judgment after a weeks-long search for someone to put up the cash. That company? Knight Specialty Insurance, which is run by CEO Don Hankey, the so-called “king of subprime car loans”. Hankey explained his reason for giving Trump the money as: “I heard that he needed a loan … and this is what we do.” Yes, this is what they do. You know their slogan: ‘Turned down by the banky? Don’t get so cranky! Call me, Don Hankey. You’ll say, why, thanky! Don, good luck with the case about the porn star spanky.’” —Stephen Colbert


Still, between the $175 million Trump put up in this case and the $91 million in the E Jean Carroll case, Trump somehow posted way less money this week than he lost on Wall Street, as Truth Social reportedly lost $4 billion in value after SEC documents revealed the social media company was hemorrhaging money. Wow, I am actually surprised that Truth Social had value. The stock opened on Tuesday at $48.66 a share, down 39% from its high of $79.38 a week ago. Truly, an historic failure. No one has seen a loss this big since the Trump Taj Mahal, the Trump Hotel, Trump steaks, Trump airlines, Trump University and Trump, Eric. —Stephen Colbert


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

He’s so life-like, his Tinder profile says he’s 6ft 1in (Secretary of Gronking)


“It’s Biden-Trump. It’s always been Biden-Trump. It will always be Biden-Trump. But not if you ask the voters, who seem to still be in denial. There is a recent poll which found that nearly half of voters think it’s likely that Democrats will replace Biden with another candidate before the election. No! No they won’t! It’s Trump versus Biden, stop making up election fan fiction – ‘Ooh, what if Tom Brady comes out of retirement for president, he could make Gronk secretary of Gronking. And then they kiss.’” —Stephen Colbert


In a new print interview with the New Yorker, Joe Biden assured that he would beat Trump and noted: “I am the only one who has ever beat him.” Well, that’s true unless you count E Jean Carroll, [New York attorney general] Letitia James, Covid, the free market and ramps. —Seth Meyers

An Amazon warehouse near Seattle recently began testing a 5ft 9in robot that resembles a human. He’s so life-like, his Tinder profile says he’s 6ft 1in. —Seth Meyers


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”