I just wish they'd been Teen Choice Awards (Guinness will have it all by Monday)

Ireland will be collecting $15 billion from Apple in a settlement over back taxes. Ireland will receive the money on Friday, and Guinness will have it all by Monday. –Conan O’Brien

In an interview, Senate candidate Roy Moore's spokesperson said his accusers gave "Academy Award performances." Then Moore interrupted and said, "I just wish they'd been Teen Choice Awards." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What you hope for. What they mean. (I dare him to come to India and say that to my face)

In an interview, Senate candidate Roy Moore's spokesperson said his accusers gave "Academy Award performances." Then Moore interrupted and said, "I just wish they'd been Teen Choice Awards." –Conan O’Brien

Today, President Trump signed an executive order authorizing the building of the border wall. It’s guaranteed to keep out all Mexicans unless they get their hands on a ladder or a shovel. –Conan O’Brien

"Barack Obama called Mitt Romney a pioneer of outsourcing jobs. A spokesperson for Romney said, 'I dare him to come to India and say that to my face.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”