August 2011
"We finally get a black President, and our credit goes bad. If Obama's going to be stereotyped as black he should own it. And by 'own it' I mean rent it." –Daily Show "senior black correspondent" Larry Wilmore
"Obama is going to use 'weird' as code for 'Mormon.' I am really starting to respect that urban, rhythmic, Socialist, Kenyan secret Muslim." –Stephen Colbert, on the Obama campaign's apparent plan to target Mitt Romney as "weird"
"Some political analysts are saying that President Obama is making many of the same mistakes that President Bush made. Obama said, 'That's ridiculous, and if you'll excuse me, 'Spongebob' is on.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Nancy Pelosi has named the final members of the committee charged with reducing the debt. Unfortunately, the committee includes MC Hammer, Willie Nelson, and Nicholas Cage." –Conan O'Brien
"The FCC says you will soon be able to send text messages to 911. I'm sure 911 operators can't wait to get texts that say, 'Being carjacked, LOL.'" –Conan O'Brien
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
