Jon Snow's alive! Bye.

Over 27,000 people attended a massive rally for Bernie Sanders in Manhattan's Washington Square Park. Well, technically, 7,000 people showed up for Bernie, while 20,000 New Yorkers just saw a line and got in it. –Jimmy Fallon

Producers for "Game of Thrones" confirmed that President Obama has requested and will receive episodes of the show's new season before it airs on HBO. So he can call up the Republicans and spoil it for them. “Jon Snow's alive! Bye.” –Jimmy Fallon

Congrats to Kobe Bryant! Last night, he scored 60 points in his last game before retiring. When asked if they were excited to start getting the ball more often, his teammates said, "Oh, he took the ball with him." –Jimmy Fallon

In a recent interview, Kourtney Kardashian says that she eats avocado pudding for breakfast. You know the Kardashians are out of touch when they don't even know the word for guacamole. –Jimmy Fallon

The government is renaming those branches

"During President Obama's visit to an elementary school yesterday, one little boy actually asked him if he ever fought in the Civil War. Obama told the boy he did not, but he re-enacts it with Congress all the time." –Jimmy Fallon



"A recent report says the majority of Americans cannot name the three branches of government — Judicial, Executive, and Legislative. To make it easier, the government is renaming those branches Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney." –Conan O'Brien