She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney (this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash)

"But here's the lesson in the Eliot Spitzer case, ladies and gentlemen, this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash." --David Letterman

"Former President Bill Clinton spoke at the convention last night. And it was sort of sad when in the middle of Clinton’s speech, John McCain wandered out on stage in his bathrobe." --David Letterman

"Did you know what happened on Saturday? Miss America pageant. The winner, our new Miss America, her name is Kirsten Haglund. Congratulations to her. And she is from Michigan. And she's beautiful. She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney." --David Letterman

"This kind of thing usually happens once or twice a summer down in Washington. Yesterday, a guy hopped the fence at the White House. Pretty scary. Thank god at the last minute Dick Cheney picked him off. And then, today, another guy was arrested for trying to climb Condoleezza Rice." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney (Oh boy, I didn't see that coming)

"The good news is that Hosni Mubarak may step down. The bad news is that he may be replaced by his idiot son Hosni W. Mubarak." –David Letterman

"In Egypt, 2 million people are in the streets all around Egypt demanding that Hosni Mubarak step down. It's the most-angry mob I've seen since the 'Fire Dave' rally last year." –David Letterman

"Now the Egyptian crowds who are protesting have turned against the United States. Oh boy, I didn't see that coming." –David Letterman

"Did you know what happened on Saturday? Miss America pageant. The winner, our new Miss America, her name is Kirsten Haglund. Congratulations to her. And she is from Michigan. And she's beautiful. She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney." --David Letterman

"Rumors are that the reason Dick Cheney didn't say anything about the hunting accident for about 24 hours was because he had been drinking. And I'm thinking, well jeez, he was probably drinking when we planned the invasion of Iraq." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney

"During the State of the Union address, whoa what a rowdy crowd. Crazy crowd. At one point, Cheney had to fire a couple of shots in the air." --David Letterman

"It was such a riveting speech, the State of the Union speech, Senator Larry Craig only took two bathroom breaks." --David Letterman

"About halfway through, Senator Ted Kennedy sent over a couple of drinks to the Bush twins." --David Letterman

"Did you know what happened on Saturday? Miss America pageant. The winner, our new Miss America, her name is Kirsten Haglund. Congratulations to her. And she is from Michigan. And she's beautiful. She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney." --David Letterman