Ah, crap, is that Uncle Dave? (Tip your Pharisees)

Januray 2022

“Former President Donald Trump called off his ill-timed news conference scheduled for Thursday, the anniversary of the Jan. 6 Capitol riot — or that horrible day when millions of Americans stared at the TV in shock and grief and said, ‘Ah, crap, is that Uncle Dave?’” —Stephen Colbert

“Apparently, the real reason he canceled the event is because ‘some advisers urged the former president to reschedule for a day that would draw less attention to a low point of his presidency.’ So, every day of his presidency?” —Stephen Colbert

“The solemnity of the day was in danger of being undermined by former President ‘My Little Phony.’ Two weeks ago, he announced that at the time of the Capitol prayer service, he planned to deliver remarks doubling down on the ‘big lie’ to counterprogram the remembrance events. Yeah, you can’t let remembrance events go on without counterprogramming. The same reason at a funeral you’ve got to bring out an insult comic for the people who are glad the guy’s dead: [Imitating comic] ‘John looks good. It’s the first time I’ve seen him stiff in years! Oh! His wife knows what I’m talking about. Anyway, that’s my time. His, too! Tip your pallbearers.’” —Stephen Colbert

“It would be like Judas giving a speech to commemorate Good Friday: [Imitating Judas] ‘Sure, it’s a sad day, but without me, none of this would’ve happened. The real crucifixion was on Nov. 3 — Mary Magdalene knows what I’m talkin’ about. Tip your Pharisees.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry 

 

The Pope thought the actor was very believable as Jesus (Green Eggs, Hold the Ham)

Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ after what two weeks is still number one at the box office. Yesterday at the Vatican Pope John Paul II actually met with the actor who plays Jesus in the Passion of the Christ. The Pope thought the actor was very believable as Jesus because afterwards he said tell your dad I said hi. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

A group of Catholic Boston Red Sox fans have asked the city's bishop to allow them to eat meat on Good Friday because they want to eat hotdogs on opening day. The bishop turned the group down because he says Good Friday is about suffering and so is being a Red Sox fan. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

For the first time ever a copy of Dr. Seuss's book The Cat in the Hat came out in Yiddish. They're also coming out with another Yiddish Dr. Seuss book book called Green Eggs, Hold the Ham. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”