What if I had tickets for Saturday's Apocalypse? (Forget my first term. I was on crack)

"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is running for re-election, and he's got a catchy campaign slogan: 'Forget my first term. I was on crack.'" –David Letterman

"Now the pastor guy says the Apocalypse will be October 21st. I know some people are saying, 'What if I had tickets for Saturday's Apocalypse?' Those tickets will still be good for October." –David Letterman

"Dick Cheney was on television yesterday. He gave an hour-long speech. In the speech, he's defending waterboarding. I thought, boy, that's a tough call — would you rather be waterboarded or listen to Cheney for an hour?" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”