Open House Today: You Will Be Murdered (We all assume he failed everything)

I'm a little concerned about the timing. Is it wise to lift restrictions on public drinking and urination the week before St. Patrick's Day? To all my viewers in New York, please seek high ground and start piling sand bags. –Stephen Colbert

In Philadelphia, a real estate investor says a home he was scoping out came with an unadvertised surprise. A stairway booby-trapped with a swinging knife.  To be fair, the real estate listing did say, “Open House Today: You Will Be Murdered.” --Stephen Colbert

Yesterday, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan went on “Face the Dickerson” to get ahead of the CBO report: “The one thing I am certain will happen is CBO will say, ‘Well, gosh, not as many people will get coverage.’” Well, gosh, not as many people will get coverage, and gee willikers, I need chemo, and cheese and crackers, I can’t afford to go to the doctor, and holy Toledo, I should’ve identified my next of kin, because fiddlesticks, I’m dead!” Doesn’t sound so bad when it’s folksy. Gosh. Golly! –Stephen Colbert

Last week Michael Cohen told congress that Trump ordered him to threaten his high school to never release his grades. What could he possibly be hiding? We all assume he failed everything. --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”