“I hope you’re having a sensual Valentine’s Day, which, if you’re watching this, you’re probably not.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Hey, don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here doing my thang — a long monologue. And maybe later, if we’re lucky, some Toyota commercials. And I’ve got 400 people in this room with me who just like to watch. And I’m happy to help, because America could use a little help in the seduction department right now. Because according to new research, Americans are at a 30-year low for sex. And again, no judgment: Whatever doesn’t float your boat. I’m not going to kink-shame the jigsaw puzzle/Breathe Right Strip/lights out by 9 p.m. lifestyle.” —Stephen Colbert
“The study says there are a number of possible reasons for lower birth rates, including fewer people getting married, an aging population. But let’s be honest: We all know what the real reason is — unlimited porn. The same reason people at the Olive Garden are eating more breadsticks — it’s unlimited.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“I think it’s weird having Valentine’s the day after the Super Bowl. I was out past midnight last night flipping SUVs and setting mattresses on fire, now I’m supposed to be romantic? I don’t know, I’m all charged up!” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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