“Finally, Trump revealed his true reason for the mission: a photo op with his all-white advisers. Now, reportedly, the reason Trump wanted this meaningless photo — because ‘he was upset by coverage of the fact that he had been rushed to the underground bunker on Friday night.’ Not sure if he thought that one through. [as Trump] ‘Oh, they think I’m a coward, do they? I’ll show them. Quick, go assault a bunch of peaceful protesters. Daddy’s gotta frown in front of a church and hold a Bible like a fly swatter.’” —Stephen Colbert
“Once the path was cleared for Caesar’s brave shamble, Trump made his way across the street to the boarded-up church, where he, with visible confusion and discomfort, groped a Bible. [imitating Trump] ‘I’ve only seen one of these — when I was sworn in. Let’s see if I can remember — I hold The Bible, then you raise your right hand. Is that it? Am I extra sworn in? Am I president double-stuffed?” —Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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