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Thursday, July 2, 2015

When Roosevelt did it, no one said a word.



If I was Chris Christie and everyone was focused on my weight, I'd pick an even fatter running mate — someone huge, like 600 pounds. –Jimmy Kimmel
Donald Trump sued Univision today for $500 million, which everyone's making a big deal about, but what future president hasn't sued a TV network for pulling his beauty pageant off the air? When Roosevelt did it, no one said a word. –Jimmy Kimmel
I don't know if Rand Paul has to go to Colorado. If he wants money from stoners, he should just become a pizza delivery guy. –Jimmy Kimmel


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