in lieu of sending flowers (but that's what Diddy would do)

Sean Combs was sentenced on Friday to four years in prison. And I'll be honest, it's hard for me to enjoy watching someone I love get punished, but that's what Diddy would do. —Michael Che

Kamala Harris has released a new book that explains how she lost the 2024 election. It’s called I'm a Black Lady. —Michael Che

Chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall has died at the age of 91. The family requests that in lieu of sending flowers, please throw feces. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I am an activist nurse (whatever you do don't ask about the Magic Johnson)

An ex-girlfriend of Sean Diddy Combs testified they would use the names of famous NBA players as codes for sex acts. Yeah, so whatever you do don't ask about the Magic Johnson. —Greg Gutfeld

Soap made out of actress Sydney Sweeney's bathwater is being resold online for as much as $1,600. Meanwhile Joy Behar's bathwater is replacing tear gas to disperse angry rioters. —Greg Gutfeld

Republicans beat the Democrats in the congressional baseball game by a score of 13-2. The game was almost cancelled when Congresswoman Rashida Talib suggested they play shirts against skins. But the game ended up being delayed when someone mistook Nancy Pelosi's face for a catcher's mitt. The game had to be stopped at the second inning when Jerry Nadler started grazing on the outfield grass. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But there's one billionaire oilman who still supports Donald Trump —Diddy (Princeton Study)

FBI Director Kash Patel announced that the agency is launching an investigation into anti-Musk vandalism at Tesla dealerships, calling the acts "domestic terrorism,” which is a federal crime punishable by a full pardon. —Michael Che

An anonymous survey of oil executives reveals that many of them think President Trump’s "Drill, baby, drill" message is a myth and his tariffs are a disaster. But there's one billionaire oilman who still supports Donald Trump —Diddy. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's enough to make you sick, but you can't afford it (It's because there's no after-party at Diddy’s)

And, of course, LA, for obvious reasons, it's gonna have to be a little more sober of an Oscar ceremony. Not because of the fires. It's because there's no after-party at Diddy’s. —Bill Maher

With our government, everything is broken. It's hard to even name an issue the government is involved with that isn't broken. We have the most expensive healthcare system in the world, spending far more per person than any other country, with far worse results. Life expectancy, 49th in the world. Infant mortality, 54th. More people here live with multiple chronic conditions than any other rich country. It's enough to make you sick, but you can't afford it. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which is also my nickname at the strip club (Just as he was about to reveal what he saw at those Diddy parties)

Harry, the miniature donkey who served as a model for donkey in the Shrek movies, has died at the age of 30. Just as he was about to reveal what he saw at those Diddy parties. —Michael Che

A new study finds that the country with the largest average bra size is Norway. But America still has the largest average bra size for men. —Michael Che

In New York City, police are searching for the serial mugger who makes victims negotiate what he'll steal and is being called the Haggler After Midnight, which is also my nickname at the strip club. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which is just incredible grip strength for a guy coated in baby oil (finish her!)

A woman has filed a lawsuit against Diddy, accusing him of assault and dangling her off a 17 story balcony, which is just incredible grip strength for a guy coated in baby oil. —Colin Jost

A man in Canada saved his wife after a polar bear lunged at her and he leapt onto the bear's back, shouting, finish her! —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

as soon as he nominates new surgeon general Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable (Diddy for attorney general)

“See, the thing is, Donald Trump did this wrong. He did it in the wrong order. First, you nominate Diddy for attorney general, then Matt Gaetz.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“This Gaetz situation is a setback for Trump, but it’ll all be forgotten as soon as he nominates new surgeon general Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Police say they will look into the matter and figure out which officer did it (he celebrated the same way he always does)

A new report shows that after Donald Trump was elected, the wealth of the world's ten richest people grew by more than $60 billion. The richest people immediately got richer. But don't worry, I'm sure yours is coming soon, Earl. —Michael Che

Black and Brown students in Nyack, New York, reported receiving spam text messages saying they were selected to pick cotton. Police say they will look into the matter and figure out which officer did it. —Michael Che

Sean Diddy Combs celebrated his 55th birthday in jail this week. And if what they say about prison is true, he celebrated the same way he always does. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which is terrible news for whoever cleans the front of busses (All I can say is he better have made that band)

New York City passed a new law this week making jaywalking legal, which is terrible news for whoever cleans the front of busses. —Michael Che     

Arizona police arrested a man for allegedly trying not to lose his home by keeping his late father’s body in a backyard freezer. He's being charged with making a pop-sicle. —Michael Che        

A new lawsuit has been filed against Sean Combs, accusing him of sexually assaulting a teenage boy on his reality show, Making the Band. Wow. All I can say is he better have made that band. —Michael Che 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Diddy Freak Off, Nebraska (Just Be Cool)

LeBron James and his son Bronny made history when they became the first ever father son duo to play an NBA game together. But there was some confusion when LeBron called a timeout and his son went and stood in the corner. —Colin Jost

According to a new study, South Burlington, Vermont is the safest city in the country, while the least safe city is Diddy Freak Off, Nebraska. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a SUSPICIOUSLY NICE Rosh Hashanah weekend (it's a great place to eat out)

It was reported that last month, the U.S. added 245,000 new jobs. Unfortunately, they were all DIDDY ACCUSER. —Michael Che

This week, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted, “yes, they can control the weather” and I don't know who they is, but it has been a SUSPICIOUSLY NICE Rosh Hashanah weekend. —Michael Che

Boston's first lesbian bar in decades, called Danni's Queer Bar, has officially opened its doors. Well, curtains. But even if you don't drink, it's a great place to eat out. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We live in the time Einstein warned us about (swooped in after a huge disaster)

Vice President Kamala Harris traveled to North Carolina to survey damage from the hurricane, which is the second time this year she swooped in after a huge disaster. —Colin Jost

It was reported that Diddy once invited Prince Harry and Prince William to one of his parties, but they did not go. Although before Diddy could even finish writing the invite, Prince Andrew was there. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

we're just glad our parents aren't around to see this (you can't hold a guy back wearing all that baby oil)

An attorney for Diddy said that his client wants to testify at his trial, saying, I don't know that I can keep him off the stand because you can't hold a guy back wearing all that baby oil. —Michael Che   

A new Netflix show about convicted murderers Eric and Lyle Menendez is being criticized for implying the brothers had an incestuous relationship. Said the brothers, we're just glad our parents aren't around to see this. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”