he went to his favorite bondage nightclub and demanded to be spanked (things you have to apologize for later)

"You people are so lucky you live in California. This heat wave back east is just unbelievable. It was so hot in Washington, Nancy Pelosi skipped the Botox, had her face injected with frozen yogurt." –Jay Leno

"Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq on July 4. It was a surprise because Biden thought he was going to Des Moines for a fund-raiser." –Jay Leno

"While Vice President Biden was away, Republican Chairman Michael Steele was forced to take over the job of saying embarrassing things you have to apologize for later." –Jay Leno

"You hear about this? Michael Steele said that — well, he's in trouble, actually — for saying the war in Afghanistan was Obama's war, and it was unwinnable. In fact, Steele felt so sorry for it, he said today he went to his favorite bondage nightclub, demanded to be spanked." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

“You know me, I don't like to talk about money,” said Trump.

Donald Trump traveled to Mexico today to meet with President Enrique Peña Nieto. Said Trump, “Wow, this place has more illegal immigrants than we do.” –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump and Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto held a joint press conference where Trump said the two did discuss his proposed border wall but did not address payment for its construction. Said Trump, “You know me, I don't like to talk about money.” –Seth Meyers

The first commercial flight between Cuba and the United States in more than 50 years took off from Florida today — but it was a JetBlue flight so it connected through Denver, Chicago, Seattle, and Des Moines. –Seth Meyers