"New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally
rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man
loots house, steals white woman.'" --Bill Maher
"It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know
it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges,
hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free. Unfortunately that nation is
Afghanistan." --Bill Maher
"We learned this week that Mitt
Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I
get the feeling this guy wants to be president so he has a place to live while
he's remodeling his beach house. I'm not worried that this guy is out of touch.
I'm worried he's Batman. I could see Mitt as Batman. He hears about a robbery,
he changes into the magic underwear, he rushes to the crime scene, and he helps
the crooks manage their new money." --Bill Maher
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