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Saturday, April 16, 2016

Aw, that's so cute. They think he has a chance.



Kobe Bryant pulled one last rabbit out of his hat, 60 points in his farewell game, the most points scored by any player all season long. Kobe Bryant should have retired after every game, is what we realized. –Jimmy Kimmel
Yesterday Trump met with one of his arch nemeses, Megyn Kelly. They talked for an hour. In the end they agreed to put aside their differences and get back to what's important, which is getting white people very angry. –Jimmy Kimmel
During their family town hall event on CNN last night, Ted Cruz's wife revealed that their daughters want Taylor Swift to be their first guest to visit the White House. Aw, that's so cute. They think he has a chance. –Seth Meyers


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