You had us at white

Ted Cruz said that a "white knight" is not going to parachute into the Republican convention and walk away with the nomination. To which the GOP responded, "You had us at 'white.'" –Conan O’Brien

A huge document leak has exposed shady financial dealings involving famous people like Vladimir Putin and Jackie Chan. I don’t know about you but I smell a buddy movie. –Conan O’Brien

Greece has put into place its new plan of deporting unwanted migrants. The plan was the brainchild of new Greek minister "Adonis Trumpadopoulos." –Conan O’Brien

This week is the 43rd anniversary of the first cellphone call. Historians still don’t know which movie theater it took place in. –Conan O’Brien

Alaska Air has announced that it’s purchasing Virgin Airlines for $2.6 billion. It’s the most money ever spent on a virgin since my parents bought me a car after my college graduation. –Conan O’Brien