A
couple in Ohio yesterday ran a half marathon immediately after getting married
at the starting line. Ha, usually you're married a lot longer than that before
you hear a gunshot. –Seth Meyers
A
man in Massachusetts is converting his funeral home into an ice cream parlor
with the slogan, "A taste to die for." "Hey, that's our
slogan," said Chipotle. –Seth Meyers
Beyoncé
released a surprise album, "Lemonade," this weekend. Of course, when
you're over 40 and white, every Beyoncé album is a surprise album. –Seth Meyers
Hillary
Clinton said Pennsylvania is where she learned to shoot a gun. Meanwhile,
Bernie Sanders said Pennsylvania is where he learned to load a musket. –Conan
O’Brien
This
election is heading into the home stretch and it seems like the whole world is
watching. In fact, I read that sales for Donald Trump piñatas have been soaring
recently. Or as Donald Trump put it, “Told you I could make the Mexicans pay
for something!” –Jimmy Fallon
No comments:
Post a Comment