You
almost have to hand it to Ted Cruz. Even though he lost all five primaries,
today he named a running mate. He named Carly Fiorina as his running mate. For
what, I don't know. Maybe they plan to go running together. –Jimmy Kimmel
During
his victory speech last night Donald Trump dismissed the idea of facing a
contested convention, saying, “As far as I’m concerned, it’s over.” And by
“it,” I assume he means civilization as we know it. –Seth Meyers
Should
he win the nomination, Ted Cruz has selected former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly
Fiorina as his running mate. But, unfortunately, he did so by announcing, “Ted
Cruz has HP VP!” -- Seth Meyers
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