A man whose name is an anagram for “crisp bee urine.”

Harriet Tubman will be replacing Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. It's truly exciting to have a woman on there. Although, unfortunately, due to the wage gap, it is now worth $17. –Stephen Colbert

The New York primary results were a good old-fashioned Empire State boot stomping by Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. New Yorkers haven't seen a thrashing this bad since any Knicks game. –Stephen Colbert

If you think that you're worried about what is going to happen in this race, just consider Reince Priebus, RNC chairman and man whose name is an anagram for “crisp bee urine.” –Stephen Colbert