Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.”

More than 11.5 million documents called the “Panama Papers” just leaked, and they link Vladimir Putin to $2 billion held in secret offshore accounts. If confirmed, it could be the LEAST bad thing Putin's ever done. –Jimmy Fallon

Amazon Prime just unveiled new buttons you can press to order Doritos, Red Bull, and Trojan condoms. Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.” –Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump is polling so badly with women that at a rally last night, he had his wife, Melania, introduce him. Because if there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to get American women on your side, it’s a foreign model who’s married to a billionaire and never has to work. –Conan O’Brien