It would compromise the dignity that he one day hopes to have

Some people are blaming Donald Trump’s loss in Wisconsin on the fact that he made fun of Ted Cruz’s wife with a photo on Twitter. Trump said he regrets the decision and wishes he had used Instagram. –Conan O’Brien

In an interview, Spike Lee said that Bernie Sanders' campaign song should be "Brooklyn’s in the House." Today, Bernie Sanders said, "I don’t know who this 'Spike Lee' is, but I hope he can deliver the Asian vote." –Conan O’Brien

A new study claims 1 in 50 men is unwittingly raising someone else’s child. I was shocked, and so was my son, "Rodrigo Garcia." –Conan O’Brien

While campaigning in Wisconsin, Ted Cruz refused to wear the traditional Wisconsin "Cheesehead." Ted Cruz said the Cheesehead would compromise the dignity that he one day hopes to have. –Conan O’Brien