thank you for being one of the last four countries that will still take my calls

"President Bush is back in Texas, unemployed like much of the rest of America. Bush reportedly spent the day cataloging his papers, outlining his memoirs, and sketching out plans for his presidential library. Just kidding. He spent four hours seeing how many Reese's Pieces he could hold between his toes. 38, it turns out." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Tomorrow, America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for, 'former President George Bush,' President Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you." --Jay Leno 



"President Bush is winding things down. Yep, today was President Bush's last full day in office. He called the leaders of Denmark, Italy, Russia and South Korea to say, 'thank you.' Yeah, his exact words were, 'thank you for being one of the last four countries that will still take my calls.'" --Conan O'Brien