President Trump will save your acorns!

Several alumni of "The Apprentice" held a press conference to say that Donald Trump should not be president. While on the other hand, Gary Busey went to the park to register squirrels to vote. "President Trump will save your acorns!" —Jimmy Fallon

Ted Cruz and his wife appeared in a town hall on CNN recently and his wife said that after they got back from their honeymoon, Ted bought 100 cans of Campbell's chunky soup. But to be fair, I feel like anyone who has watched this election is probably stocking up on canned goods. –Jimmy Fallon

Ted Cruz's daughters were also at the town hall. They said that if they end up in the White House, they want to have Taylor Swift over for dinner. Then Ted Cruz said, "I hope she likes chunky soup because I have 200 cans in the living room." –Jimmy Fallon

Cicadas are coming back next month. These unusual insects spend almost all of their lives in holes underground and only emerge once every 17 years to mate. Sort of like any couple with a Netflix account. –Jimmy Fallon