Then the president got on his horse and rode off to spread the news to the next town (America in two headlines)

November 2013

"There's a turkey shortage. Are you aware of that fact? There's also a gravy shortage. It's up to $4 a gallon. Governor Chris Christie wants to build a gravy pipeline." –David Letterman

"According to insiders, the White House hired a consulting firm that told them the Obamacare website wasn't ready. But the White House went ahead. The White House made this mistake because they don't know how to open their email." –David Letterman

"Today's the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address and it's also Larry King's birthday — two events that happened 150 years ago. Actually, Larry is older. He reported at that event. He said, 'Didn't talk as long as we thought but what are you going to do? And why the four score?'" –Conan O'Brien 

"President Obama is being criticized for not attending today's ceremony commemorating the Gettysburg Address. In fairness, though, Lincoln did not attend Obama's 'Sorry about this crappy website' speech." –Conan O'Brien

"Obama is wrestling with the healthcare rollout debacle. He urged Americans not to be put off by the Obamacare website and offered alternative ways to enroll, such as using the mail. Then the president got on his horse and rode off to spread the news to the next town." –Conan O'Brien

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