"Scary moment earlier today for Vice President Dick Cheney's plane. It hit a bird over O'Hare airport. A bird got sucked into the engine. Or, as Cheney calls it, a hunting accident. I think it's the first bird he ever hit." --Jay Leno
"It was announced that Hooter's will open one of its restaurants in Israel this summer. So much for keeping the meat separate from the dairy." --Amy Poehler

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