"A Tea Party candidate won Virginia's Republican primary,
mostly on his anti-immigration stance. His first plan is to change the state's
slogan from 'Virginia is for lovers' to 'Virginia is for lovers who habla
ingles.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Since House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost to an
anti-immigration candidate, many Republicans are feeling pressure to take a
harder stance on immigration. In fact, the Republicans are so paranoid, today
Chris Christie sent back his chimichanga." –Conan O'Brien
"According to a new study, the number of car crashes
linked to marijuana has risen. Fortunately, when the cars crashed they were all
going eight miles per hour." –Conan O'Brien
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