I thought there might have been some kind of security problem

"This week President Obama attended Nelson Mandela's memorial service in South Africa. Hundreds of world leaders were there. President Obama said it felt strange to listen to these leaders in person rather than eavesdropping on their phone calls." –Jay Leno



"Yesterday everybody reported on the fake sign language interpreter at the Nelson Mandela memorial. Turns out that he was not a fake but a violent schizophrenic who was hallucinating that angels were flying into the stadium. So at least there's a simple explanation for what went wrong. For a minute I thought there might have been some kind of security problem." –Jay Leno



"So let me get this straight. The NSA is listening to our phone calls, but no one is checking up on the violent schizophrenic who is 18 inches from the president of the United States." –Jay Leno