He did make off with a 45-pound wheel of cheese

“Congratulations to Mitt Romney, the big winner in yesterday's primary. He won in Wisconsin. Rick Santorum finished second. Newt Gingrich came in fourth behind Ron Paul. But Wisconsin was not a total loss for Newt. He did make off with a 45-pound wheel of cheese.” –Jay Leno



“The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any kind of arrest. That's something to think about the next time you bring 12 items into a 10-item-or-less lane.” –Jay Leno

“Osama bin Laden was so wealthy that one of his houses had an elevator for his camels.” –David Letterman 

John Hulse painting