Their win is my win! (Who is the real hero?)

I got a belt that's holding up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up my belt. I don't know what's really happening down there. Who is the real hero? --Mitch Hedberg

I went to the store and bought eight apples. The clerk said you want me to put them in a bag. I said no man, I juggle. But I can only juggle eight. If I am ever here and I buy nine apples, bag’em up. --Mitch Hedberg

I saw a commercial on late-night-tv that said forget everything you know about slipcovers. So I did, and it was a load off my mind. --Mitch Hedberg

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”