You're on your own, suckers

The Rams are already adjusting to L.A. life. They're now going to call tryouts auditions and ask you to bring a head shot with you when you come. –James Corden

Now every Rams game is going to start with a two-hour red carpet. “Oh, you look great, I love the helmet. Who are you wearing?” I think it's Nike. –James Corden

President Obama gave his final State of the Union address last night. It was the president's shortest State of the Union address, clocking in at 58:49. Mine would have been however long it takes to say, "You're on your own, suckers." –Jimmy Kimmel