supporting Jeb Bush is like choosing to be slowly suffocated by an expensive pillow

The Iowa caucuses are coming up and yesterday, Lindsey Graham criticized Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and said choosing between them is like having to choose between being shot or poisoned. Graham said supporting Jeb Bush is like choosing to be slowly suffocated by an expensive pillow. –Jimmy Fallon

A researcher found lyrics to a song that Woody Guthrie wrote over 50 years ago about Donald Trump's father, Fred Trump. I believe it was called, this land is my land and this land is my land, and this land is also my land. –Jimmy Fallon

Donald was like, big deal -- Pink Floyd did an entire album about me called "The Wall," and I made them pay for it. –Jimmy Fallon

Experts at this week's world economic forum that said in the future, cell phones will likely be tiny computer chips implanted in our brains. Great, now I have to worry about leaving my brain in the couch. –Jimmy Fallon