The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk

According to a new poll, Donald Trump was the candidate Americans would least want to have as their neighbor. It makes sense, because he'd build a MASSIVE WALL between your yards and make YOU pay for it. –Jimmy Fallon

On “Face the Nation” yesterday, Donald Trump accused Ted Cruz of copying his immigration reform plan, specifically his idea of building a giant wall. Then China said, “Uh, hello?” –Jimmy Fallon

A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than men. And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry. –Jimmy Fallon

A man in London just took Uber's one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year's worth of free rides. The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk. –Jimmy Fallon