Trump found out the Bible is full of Middle Easterners

While speaking at an evangelical university, Donald Trump praised the Bible, saying "There’s nothing like it." Of course, Trump changed his mind the minute he found out the book is full of Middle Easterners. –Conan O’Brien

Today, Donald Trump got the endorsement of Sarah Palin. When he heard, John McCain said, "Well, then you’re all set." –Conan O’Brien

Chipotle said they will be closing all of their stores for one day next month to discuss food safety. Chipotle said if that doesn’t work they’re going to fall back to Plan B, "Salmonella Sundays." –Conan O’Brien