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Wednesday, January 6, 2016

We’re trying to prevent the next Bieber



China's new law allowing couples to have two children instead of just one went into effect in the new year. So if you thought you felt an earthquake, don't worry — it was just a billion people being told they were allowed to have unprotected sex at the exact same moment. –Jimmy Fallon
It came late, but El Niño finally arrived here in Los Angeles. In case you didn’t know, El Niño is Spanish for "Little Boy." So apparently the reason El Niño was so late is because it wanted to make sure Jared Fogle was in prison. –Conan O’Brien
The parents of a 6-year-old Canadian boy are angry because he’s been put on the no-fly list. TSA agents said, “We’re trying to prevent the next Bieber.” –Conan O’Brien


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